Some villains wear capes. This one wears a peel.
Introducing the “Cucumber of Chaos” Tee—a tribute to the world’s most harmless vegetable and its diabolical, fur-raising secret agenda.
Featuring an evil-grinning cucumber looming behind a cat who’s approximately one second away from achieving orbit. Complete with the cuke’s sinister thought bubble: “Heh-heh-heh! It never gets old!” Because true evil isn’t complicated. It’s green, cylindrical, and enjoys its work.
Why This Shirt Speaks to Your Soul (and Your Cat’s Survival Instincts)
✔ Tells the Whole Story – No need to explain why your living room looks like a WWE ring every time you unload groceries. The shirt gets it.
✔ Unbelievably Soft Fabric – Bella+Canvas’s premium jersey feels like a hug, which your cat is definitely not giving you after this.
✔ Unisex Fit – Fits the perpetrator, the victim, and the witness equally well.
✔ Psychologically Accurate Art – That cucumber isn’t just lying there… It’s plotting.
✔ Available in colors as bold as the cuke’s ego—including Athletic Heather for sporty villains, Heather True Royal for regal mischief, and Pink for psychopaths with a sweet side.
The Scene, Framed for Posterity:
Background: One (1) formerly relaxed cat, now in the “full-body pufferfish” phase of surprise.
Foreground: One smug cucumber, mentally cackling. No remorse. Only joy.
The Vibe: Beautiful chaos. The kind you watch on loop while snacking quietly (on pickles, ironically).
When to Wear This Masterpiece:
• Grocery trips (especially in the produce aisle).
• Vet waiting rooms (as a conversation starter and warning).
• Any gathering of pet owners where the phrase “you won’t believe what my cat did” comes up.
• Basically, whenever you want people to know you understand the fine line between pet ownership and domestic espionage.
Fabric & Care (Unlike the Cucumber, We’re Responsible):
Made from Bella+Canvas’s legendary unisex jersey—breathable, pre-shrunk, and printed to last longer than a cat’s grudge.
Wash cold, tumble dry low, and keep away from suspicious-looking vegetables.
Color Options for the Mischief-Minded:
• White—For a clean backdrop to dirty deeds.
• Black—to match your cat’s post-trauma mood.
• Yellow—The color of caution (and cowardice).
• Athletic Heather—for cucumbers that do cardio before starting.
• Heather True Royal—Villainy fit for a throne.
• Pink—Because even agents of chaos appreciate a cute aesthetic.
Sizes: S, M, L, XL, 2XL, 3XL
Startlement knows no size limits.
Disclaimer: Wearing this shirt may cause involuntary giggling, flashbacks from your cat, and increased caution around salad ingredients. We are not liable for airborne pets or permanently side-eyed glares from your feline. Enjoy responsibly.
.: Made with 100% Airlume combed and ring-spun cotton, the Bella Canvas 3001 is a lightweight fabric (4.2 oz/yd² (142 g/m²)) that's breathable and easy to layer. Perfect for active and leisure wear.
.: The retail fit that is perfect for casual and semi-formal settings. The crew neckline adds a classic, neat style that's perfect for accessorizing.
.: Bella+Canvas manufactures all its products in the US and internationally in a humane, no-sweat-shop, sustainable way and is part of the Fair Labor Association as well as Platinum WRAP certified.
.: The tear-away label minimizes skin irritations.
.: Fabric blends: Ash and Heather Prism colors—99% cotton, 1% polyester; Heather and Solid Blend colors—52% cotton, 48% polyester; Athletic Heather and Black Heather—90% cotton, 10% polyester.EU representative: HONSON VENTURES LIMITED, gpsr@honsonventures.com, 3, Gnaftis House, Flat 102, Limassol, Mesa Geitonia, 4003, CY
Product information: Bella+Canvas 3001, 2-year warranty in the EU and Northern Ireland as per Directive 1999/44/EC
Warnings, Hazard: For adults, Blank product sourced from Honduras
Care instructions: Machine wash: cold (max 30°C or 90°F), Non-chlorine: bleach as needed, Tumble dry: low heat, Iron, steam or dry: medium heat, Do not dry-clean.
