Introducing the Official T-Shirt for the Unintended Evel Knievel in Your Life
Ever had a moment of pure, unadulterated, "This is gonna be awesome!"... immediately followed by the sound of crunching gravel and the distant sirens of your own personal shame-ambulance? This shirt is for you. For the friend who tries a backflip off the porch. For the uncle who "definitely" knows how to parallel park. For anyone whose spirit animal is a crash test dummy.
Shirt Reads (In Gloriously Distressed Font That Matches Your Future):
PARAMEDIC
(and just below it...)
"I'm the first person you see after saying, 'Look what I can do!'"
Featuring Art That Tells Your Story:
At the bottom, a silhouetted figure of boundless ambition and zero trajectory is forever captured mid-"YOLO," attempting a bike trick that physics absolutely forbade. Above his head, in a classic speech bubble, lives the universal mantra of the suddenly regretful: "Oh shit!"
Product Details & Why You Need It:
Fabric of Champions (or at least, of Survivors): Made from super-soft, breathable Bella+Canvas cotton, because if you're going to wear a badge of hilarious dishonor, you might as well be comfortable. It’s the same tender care you wish you’d received on that fateful day.
A Color for Every Calamity:
• Black & White: For the classic "I have made a severe and continuous lapse in my judgment" look.
• Natural: For a more rustic, "My attempt at homebrewing/demolition/DIY surgery has gone awry" vibe.
• Athletic Heather & Baby Blue: For when your overconfidence happened during a "sporting activity."
• Yellow: High-visibility. So the next paramedic can find you faster.
Sizes S to 3XL: Because poor life choices do not discriminate based on body type. We believe in inclusive regrettable decisions.
Perfect For:
• The walking accident in your friend group.
• Gift for anyone who has ever needed stitches or a tetanus shot "for a funny story."
• Actual paramedics with a sense of humor (they’ve earned it).
• Wear to the ER to break the ice. "See? I told you I'd get here!"
Care Instructions: Machine wash cold. Tumble dry low. Do not attempt to iron while standing on a rolling office chair. Seriously. We know you're out there.
Get yours today! Because pride is temporary, but the story (and this awesome shirt) is forever.
.: Made with 100% Airlume combed and ring-spun cotton, the Bella Canvas 3001 is a lightweight fabric (4.2 oz/yd² (142 g/m²)) that's breathable and easy to layer. Perfect for active and leisure wear.
.: The retail fit that is perfect for casual and semi-formal settings. The crew neckline adds a classic, neat style that's perfect for accessorizing.
.: Bella+Canvas manufactures all its products in the US and internationally in a humane, no-sweat-shop, sustainable way and is part of the Fair Labor Association as well as Platinum WRAP certified.
.: The tear-away label minimizes skin irritations.
.: Fabric blends: Ash and Heather Prism colors—99% cotton, 1% polyester; Heather and Solid Blend colors—52% cotton, 48% polyester; Athletic Heather and Black Heather—90% cotton, 10% polyester.EU representative: HONSON VENTURES LIMITED, gpsr@honsonventures.com, 3, Gnaftis House, Flat 102, Limassol, Mesa Geitonia, 4003, CY
Product information: Bella+Canvas 3001, 2-year warranty in the EU and Northern Ireland as per Directive 1999/44/EC
Warnings, Hazard: For adults, Blank product sourced from Honduras
Care instructions: Machine wash: cold (max 30°C or 90°F), Non-chlorine: bleach as needed, Tumble dry: low heat, Iron, steam or dry: medium heat. Do not dry-clean.
