Tired of the same old saccharine-sweet Santa schtick? This year, the big man in red has reached his breaking point, and we've got the official incident report printed on the comfiest shirt known to humankind.
Behold the Bella+Canvas 3001—the garment that lets you showcase the real, unfiltered spirit of Christmas: petty, vindictive, and motivated by baked goods.
The Design:
At a Glance: A masterfully captured moment of pure, unadulterated festive fury. At the top, Santa Claus is depicted not with a jolly "Ho Ho Ho," but with a resounding "OH HELL NO." He's mid-storm-off, sack of presents slung over his shoulder like a burglar with a grievance. The message below is clear, concise, and legally binding in the eyes of the North Pole: "No cookies, no presents!"
Key Features & Benefits:
100% Authentic Grinch-Mode: This isn't a request; it's a policy. Perfect for reminding friends, family, and that one cousin who always brings a "store-bought" dessert about the sacred contract of milk and cookies.
Crafted from Premium Saltiness: Made from a 100% ring-spun cotton blend, because only the finest materials can properly contain this level of holiday sass. It's breathable, so you can stay cool even while your attitude is scorching hot.
The Unisex Fit of "I'm Not Mad, I'm Just Disappointed": Whether you're on the "Nice" list or the "I-Tried-My-Best" list, this classic fit looks great on everyone. It’s the uniform for those who believe in tough love (and soft fabric).
A Spectrum of Festive Fumes: Available in a variety of colors! Choose Heather Red for traditional rage, Black for silent-night fury, or Navy for a deep, oceanic level of disappointment. The choice is yours!
Who is this shirt for?
The person who has everything, including a low tolerance for cookie-related letdowns.
Parents subtly reminding their children that Santa's GPS tracks oatmeal raisin atrocities.
Anyone who wants their wardrobe to say, "I'm festive, but I have boundaries."
WARNING: Wearing this shirt may result in a sudden, suspicious abundance of homemade chocolate chip cookies left for you. We are not liable for any resulting sugar comas or increased naughtiness from those trying to get back on your good side.
Specs:
Fabric: 100% Airlume combed and ring-spun cotton
Fit: Unisex (fits like a well-loved holiday tradition)
Design: Santa's contractual obligation, clearly stated.
Get yours today! Because the only thing that should be stuffed this Christmas is your face with the cookies you rightfully earned.
.: Made with 100% Airlume combed and ring-spun cotton, the Bella Canvas 3001 is a lightweight fabric (4.2 oz/yd² (142 g/m²)) that's breathable and easy to layer. Perfect for active and leisure wear.
.: The retail fit that is perfect for casual and semi-formal settings. The crew neckline adds a classic, neat style that's perfect for accessorizing.
.: Bella+Canvas manufactures all its products in the US and internationally in a humane, no-sweat-shop, sustainable way and is part of the Fair Labor Association as well as Platinum WRAP certified.
.: The tear-away label minimizes skin irritations.
.: Fabric blends: Ash and Heather Prism colors—99% cotton, 1% polyester; Heather and Solid Blend colors—52% cotton, 48% polyester; Athletic Heather and Black Heather—90% cotton, 10% polyester.EU representative: HONSON VENTURES LIMITED, gpsr@honsonventures.com, 3, Gnaftis House, Flat 102, Limassol, Mesa Geitonia, 4003, CY
Product information: Bella+Canvas 3001, 2-year warranty in EU and Northern Ireland as per Directive 1999/44/EC
Warnings, Hazard: For adults, Blank product sourced from Honduras
Care instructions: Machine wash: cold (max 30°C or 90°F), Non-chlorine: bleach as needed, Tumble dry: low heat, Iron, steam or dry: medium heat, Do not dry-clean.
